Human Importance (Whouffaldi)
by SaveRockAndRose
Summary: After Danny's death, Clara ponders the importance of her life. The Doctor does what he can to make her feel better, unveiling hidden feelings in the process.


It was as if Clara's world was falling apart.

She spent her days in her bed on the TARDIS, letting out sobs, thinking of the man who once lived and loved her. She'd loved him too, of course, but now he was gone. There was nothing she could do to change that.

Danny had had a life. Family, friends, a job. He died in the middle of his life, leaving things unfinished. Lesson plans for the next week never taught, scheduled dinners with his parents he never attended, words he planned to say that Clara would never hear.

She couldn't believe that the universe could be so cruel. That after all that he had done for her, all that he had done for the world, he just died early anyways. All that work and effort to make something of his life, wasted.

And in those quiet moments, staring at her wall, taking silent sips of tea - she wondered if that was her fate as well.

Maybe she would disappear quickly too. Her students would have no idea what was happening. Her dad would have to be told by someone, likely the Doctor. Her clothes would stay in her closet, never to be touched by her again and the TARDIS would move her room deep into itself as if she was never there. She'd just be another one of the Doctor's lost friends.

Danny's death had showed her how insignificant she was. How insignificant all human life was.

The Doctor would move on past her. He'd done it with each of his previous companions, and she knew she'd be no different. He'd slowly forget her, find a new mate and continue to travel among the stars.

It wasn't that she wanted him to be in pain over her. She didn't want him to be sad, but she also couldn't help but feel like she didn't matter. Nothing she said to him would be more important than what was said or will be said by his others. She was nothing, a human with a birth date and a death date. Was anything she did in between truly important?

A knock at her door pulled her out of her thoughts and she sat up, staring blankly ahead. "Come in," she said quietly, her voice empty of emotion.

She knew it was him, but the concerned look on his face caused her to be surprised anyway. She wasn't sure she'd seen him care so much about anything in this regeneration, especially not her. He usually kept his poker face on, not wanting her to know too much, and she understood. It was protection, after all, and she was used to doing the same.

"Clara..it's been days since you've, well, spoken. Are you sure you want to be here? I could take you home, let you be with your family..." he said timidly, avoiding eye contact. He'd offered to let her to stay on the TARDIS to get away from it all, from the reminders of him, and she'd reluctantly accepted. She wasn't sure what else he expected her to do but sit alone - she wasn't up to any more adventures.

"I'm fine, Doctor. Just let me be."

She watches as his teeth pull his lip further into his mouth. At any other time, she would've found it incredibly attractive, especially considering he was doing it. But at the moment, she could barely move. Barely feel.

"Go. I'm fine. I just want to have a lie down," she sighed, searching for any pathetic excuse to get him out. If he stayed, he'd see her cry. She'd beg him to hold her, she'd let him see her hurt. But that was something she couldn't do. The Doctor didn't like to see the damage.

He fumbled with the buttons on his coat, doing and undoing them slowly. A nervous habit, she supposed. But why be nervous? He was only talking to her.

Clearing his throat, he moved his bright eyes up to look into hers. She looked back, praying he couldn't see the pain in hers.

"I'm worried about you, Clara. You're not eating. You're not going to "have a lie down" - you've barely slept. Humans need to sleep, you need to sleep..." he rambled on. The run on sentences reminded her faintly of his last self, the one with the chin and the hair that never seemed to stop speaking.

She took in a breath, slowly feeling the cold air of her bedroom fill her lungs. "I'll sleep if you leave," she retorted, leaning back against the headboard. "I'm alright. You don't need to worry about me."

He narrows his eyebrows a bit at that, stepping a bit closer to the end of her bed. "Don't lie to me. You just lost the man you love, you aren't alright. I know the pain you're in, don't insult me by pretending you don't mind it when you know I'd be in pieces."

It was her turn to bite her lip now, looking sheepishly down at her lap. It wasn't often that the Doctor scolded her, but when he did she felt her heart sink.

"You don't...you don't need to hide from me, Clara. We've travelled the universe and gone through hell together-" he continued before pausing, the volume of his voice dropping before he spoke up again insecurely. "Do you not trust me?"

"D-Doctor, no..I trust you. I trust you with my life," she said shakily, looking back up to the bright color of his eyes again.

"Then why hide your pain from me?" he argues, moving to sit at the foot of her bed.

"It's just...you and Danny...you're two different worlds to me. Danny is school and my apartment and dinners at nice restaurants. You're the TARDIS and other worlds and cocktails on the moon. There's my love for him, and then there's my love for-" she stops herself before she says it, but she knows it's too late. He knows what that last world would've been, and it lingers in the air between them.

He shifts his weight nervously, not good in these situations. He was always a bit clueless when it came to, well, more "human" things. He'd likely find her love triangle to be stupid and domestic and not important enough to be brought to his attention.

"Your love for...me. Your love for me. Clara..you don't love me. At least not like that. We're friends, companions..you wouldn't ever-"

"Don't you dare tell me what I would and wouldn't do. I can love whoever I'd like, thank you very much, even a daft old man who couldn't possibly ever care for me," she spits out angrily, letting her emotions take control. She'd been colder than usual lately, possibly because of the grief, possibly because of her frustration with herself. She hated herself for being able to love the Doctor when she'd also loved Danny. For still loving the Timelord even when Danny was gone.

His eyes widen at her response and he sits, frozen in surprise for a moment. She breathes slowly, calming herself and the air between them seems to grow hot with embarrassment.

"I...Clara...I do," he manages to utter, looking up at her nervous expression. "I do care for you. I love you, even if you don't deserve to ever have to deal with me or my feelings."

She was dumbfounded. Silent. She needed to think, she needed to say something before the moment was gone, before she'd lose her opportunity to ever say it again.

But no words would come out.

She couldn't think of them. Nothing she could say would be able to express her feelings for him, her love for him.

So, she supposed, she'd have to act instead.

Leaning forward with a shaky breath, she presses her hips to his. She isn't gentle, not careful, not hesitant. He needs to know. After all this time, he needs to know how she feels.

He kisses back after a moment, closing his eyes and moving his hand to the back of her neck. His cool touch sends shivers down her spine and for a moment, Danny doesn't even cross her mind. She forgets, pushing all of her emotion into the kiss and desperately pulls him closer.

He stops her after a fair amount of time, not wanting it to turn into more. Not now, he's decided. Not while she's grieving. He wouldn't want to take advantage of her.

Looking up at him with love filled eyes, she catches her breath and thinks to herself-

 _Maybe I am important._


End file.
